I’m a fuckboi, I know. But let me tell you how Becky tried it.

I really am like that fuckboi (gender nonspecific term) that won’t go away, aren’t I? Even after well over a year of zero communication, when you’re happy and thriving, I send you a “how you been?” text. It’s almost as if I’ve sensed that you’re moving on and have to come back and mess with your head one more time.

At some point, we’ll both have to stop torturing ourselves and actually sever ties. Some of you might have already pulled the plug and I cannot blame you (I know I just said that I can’t but I absolutely do. Blame you that is. Because as I mentioned earlier, I’m a fuckboi and that is what a fuckboi does. Tells you one thing when s/he really means something else)

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Sorry, not sorry. Sidenote: We should all pray for brother Kanye

Some of you might screen my calls but still read my texts.  And despite all of your friends telling you to block my number, you falter and decide to meet up for just 1 drink. We all know where that leads 😉

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It’s ok boo. It happens to the best of us

The last few of you are the ones that have kept calling, kept sending the random “hey, hope you’re well” or “just thinking about you and wanted to say hi” texts. And to you I say: “I wish I appreciated you more and gave you what you deserved from me, CONSISTENCY and RECIPROCITY”.  But we both know that I’ll never change. A fuckboi will do what a fuckboi does.

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This is what a fuckboi does after they send you a text trying to mess up your whole life

As you reflect on your life choices, wondering which group you belong to and which group you’d like to belong to, let me holla at you real quick and get something off my chest. Because despite my lackadaisical attitude and being completely undeserving of y’all, I know y’all to be great listeners (well readers) and I need to share with you how these wypipo keep trying me.

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If you are a Black person in these United States of Amerikkka , you might have experienced being followed in a store, being called a slur (or several if you sit at the intersection of Blackness and Queerness/Transness/Different Ableness etc…), being told that you’re “so well-spoken” (the implied bit is that you’re well-spoken for a Black person) or “Black but not like Black Black” (actually it’s not just in this messed-up country but I’ve already spent a lot of time writing an unnecessarily long intro before getting to my point. Sorry!) You may also find that certain people think that they’ve walked into a petting zoo and you’re one of the main attracttions.

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And sometimes, they just say THE👏🏾 STUPIDEST👏🏾NONSENSE👏🏾AND👏🏾WON’T👏🏾SHUT👏🏾THEIR👏🏾FACE.

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I mean, just look at the orange shrew, “trigger fingers turn to twitter fingers”, they call their president. This man stays willin’ and says the craziest things. And while it’s easy to dismiss “conservatives whites” or “T***** supporters”, the “liberal whites” aren’t much better. They be saying out-of-pocket things too. Take for instance this experience at the airport in Entebbe.

As we’re standing in line, the security guard tells us to drop our bags and move to the side. We all look on as the guard tries to get a dog to sniff out any suspicious materials. And because people don’t know when to keep their stupid thoughts to themselves, this very blonde, very white woman whispers loud enough for some of us to hear: “But I’m not a terrorist. I mean come on”

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Why do y’all insist on being trash? ANSWER ME BECKY!

I wanted to snatch Goldilocks’ non-existent edges. She might as well have said “I’m not Brown y’all. And we all know that only Brown people are terrorists. So let’s stop this charade because I, a delicate white wallflower, should never be considered dangerous.”

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Becks, y’all (as in wypipo), are the largest terrorist group. For centuries, y’all have decimated, enslaved, abused, disenfranchised and marginalized entire countries. Y’all continue to kill us – whether we’re sleeping in our homes, walking home with skittles in our pockets, praying, protecting our children, standing in line, listening to music or simply being our authentic selves. You’ve built entire systems to slowly squeeze the life out of us because immediately ending lives wasn’t enough to satisfy your sadistic needs. Let’s not even talk about how you contribute to the destabilization of economies and make them completely dependent on foreign aid while refusing to pay up those reparations (+ compounded interest).

And you (specifically Becks), know that “the preservation of white women’s virtue” has been motive enough to kill Black men and y’all have fully taken advantage of that. You’ve played the damsel in distress, lying and getting our babies beaten and killed. And when confronted with the fact that you uphold white supremacy, y’all are so quick to say “but…but…feminism”

So yes Becks, you do look like a terrorist. Matter of fact, when I think of terrorism, you and Chad are exactly what I think about.

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PS: Haitians have a saying that goes “Mwen voye dlo, m’ pa mouye pèsonn” meaning “If this ain’t about you boo, then don’t get in your feelings. I’m talking to the ones who need to do better. So please do not #notallwhitepeople this.

PPS: No, I’m not back and will not be doing better. Y’all will just be surprised whenever I decide to come back on here and ramble.

Dear White People: A review

I scored a ticket to a free screening of Dear White People on Monday and was more than excited to see it. Before I moved to LA, a friend of mine tasked me with 2 things: a) Go see Dear White People b) Meet Issa Rae. And in my short time here, I’ve done both (check out my post on meeting Issa Rae here). We’ve all seen the videos that have been making [some] White people uncomfortable and [some] Black people say “YAAASSS!” If you’re one of the 2 people who hasn’t seen them, here’s the trailer:

I had really high hopes for the movie. I’m one of those Black people that said “YAAASSS!” when I first heard about the concept, the tongue-in-cheek title and saw the numerous promotional videos. I mean…the writer and director won the Special Jury Award for Breakthrough talent, so I figured that meant something. And without giving too much away, here is what I thought of “Dear White People”.

If you’ve ever been to a PWI [Predominantly White Institution], then you’ve either met or been one of the characters in the movie. There’s your Black guy/White girl couple, the biracial girl who takes on the role of “militant black chick” (that’s a direct quote), bougie Black girl who is trying desperately to distance herself from her Blackness, the awkward “too black for the white folk, not black enough for the black folk” kid, the down-for-the-cause non-Black person, the Queer student of color, the conscious Blacks, the “tryna be Black” White guy and the “I wear salmon shorts or loafers and am disadvantaged as a White male because…affirmative action” etc…

This collective of characters weaved a story that was all too familiar about the struggles of being Black in college and finding a safe space on campus, while trying to find your voice and figure out your future. All of the characters are searching for their place in this institution and society, something that those of us in our 20s (and maybe 30s) are acutely aware of (or is that a personal problem?). The script and the actors do a good job of illustrating those inner conflicts and presenting multi-faceted people, while not shying away from boldly stating what’s currently being discussed in Africana Centers/Black Student Unions. Seriously, I don’t care how cool you think my hair is. Don’t put your (probably dirty) hand in my fresh twist-out, which took me a long time to perfect, especially without asking. You hear me random drunk dude at the bar?

And while that honesty/lifting of the veil for White people is what’s been driving the pre-release buzz, the homage to Spike Lee and witty references were the highlight of the movie for me. Justin is clearly a Spike Lee fan with references to Do the Right Thing and Bamboozled to name a few. Some of the scenes in the movie could be seamlessly transposed in Spike Lee joint. Plus, any script which recognizes how avant-garde Stark Trek: The Next Generation was for its time, is a winner in my book. Justin wrote a witty, funny script which will feel familiar to millennials and 80s babies alike. (Fun fact: It took 7 years from inception to now. It took Justin 3 years to have a script and then they started testing out the material on social media. At least that’s what I was told during the Q&A after the screening)

Now listen carefully folks. The film doesn’t present an exhaustive picture of what every Black/White person thinks nor should it. I think that when stories try to cover too much breath of material, they often lack depth. But it does present a pretty wide snapshot, at least compared to the narrow definition of what it means to be Black according to the media. I actually would have liked to see the film address socio-economic status as well. Too often that is used interchangeably with race, especially in research [that shit pisses me off by the way]. While I understand that due to the racist system of oppression that has been created through laws and the legacy of grave injustices against Native American, Black, Japanese people etc… there is a strong correlation between socio-economic status and race, I think it’s a lazy substitute. It excuses us from understanding the nuances in the lived experiences of AHANA people, as well as questioning the reason for such a correlation. However, I understand that there is only so much you can cover in a 2-hour feature film.

At it’s core, Dear White People is meant to be a marketable comedy with dramatic moments. As Effie Brown, one of the producers, said during the Q&A: “It’s show business. Not show charity or show art. You have to able to sell your product” There are love triangles, discussions about freedom of speech vs. y’all actually a bunch of prejudiced a$%holes (we had plenty of that at my alma mater), mentions of post-racial U.S.A, reality TV etc…

Dear White People is well-written, entertaining [written, produced, directed by young Black people] and isn’t a Tyler Perry movie, filled with trite caricatures of Black people (Seriously dude, I appreciate your success and that you employ Black actors but that does not make your material above reproach). The movie will start discussions, but for some of us, those discussions aren’t new. I’m not sure that Dear White People will make a huge difference in how people perceive race and racism. If Black boys and girls constantly being murdered doesn’t make a difference, I don’t think a group of attractive, funny Black people is going to do the trick. If anything, it will spark a conversation among the people who are always engaged in the conversation.