Last stop: Spinsterhood?!?!?

I don’t know if this is the experience of other awkward black girls, but one of the areas of my life where my awkward tendencies are a big fucking hurdle is my romantic life (or lack thereof). Supposedly I’m a big flirt. According to my friends, I’ve tried to get with the vending machine guy, several waiters at The Cheesecake Factory, the awkward white guy in summer school etc… But what all of those people have in common is that I was not interested and/or was trying to get a discount. Now put me next to somebody whom I actually might like and it’s like watching a fucking train wreck. I laugh way too hard at jokes that aren’t funny, say weird things or then resort to treating them like a pal.

About a month ago, this “situation” started with someone whom I would consider a close friend. And my solution to dealing with the uncertainty, discomfort, and awkwardness of the whole thing was to pretend as if nothing happened. When I shared my plan with one of my best friends, this was her response :” [My first name] I mean this in the nicest way possible. If you keep going like this, you’re headed towards spinsterhood.” [Sorry girl, I had to share your wise words with the internet]

Now my group of friends is known for lovingly throwing shade but damn son!

 Latrece royale shade

So it isn’t bad enough that I have a lifetime pass to the struggle bus, but now I’m getting off in “Spinsterville”? Should I be learning how to crochet and shit because I’m pretty sure that’s a residency requirement there?

dora-ropchan

This is the HBIC of the knitting circle. Do not mess with her! (Actually this lady is pretty bad-ass. She made that shawl after turning 106! Read about it here )

But before I could get all up in my feelings, I knew she had a point. After the first awkward debacle with previously mentioned friend, we had a follow-up conversation where he mentioned that he didn’t see this whole “let’s try to be platonic friends”  or un-ringing the bell thing actually working out. My response: “Well, give it time and soon enough you’ll think of me like your cousin or something.” And then for good measure I hit him with a “Good night buddy”

image

Yes girl (and guy), I did. When shit like that happens, I wish there would be a big neon sign that would pop up, saying “Houston, we have a fucking awkward problem!” and some magic fairy would come and shut me up. Alas!

Now, I can’t blame all of my romantic problems on my awkward-ness. Your girl should probably (read: definitely) hit the gym more and put down the mozzarella sticks. But still…

Can any of you relate or is this a personal problem?

 

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