Before you start with the “yes I am, my mommy told me so…”, I don’t mean “you” as in you personally, so calm it down.
The other day I had the brilliant idea of starting a blog. For some reason, I even convinced myself that this was a completely revolutionary idea *eye roll*. I was like: “Imma write a blog for 20somethings about health issues, it’s gonna be fucking awesome.” Yeah, boop boop…fail. Not only is that shit mad hard (you gotta cite your information, make sure your shit is correct so you don’t get sued) but you also gotta be funny and keep people entertained. And see, I’m not a funny person.
Don’t get me wrong, I have funny moments and your girl can keep you laughing for a while. But that shit needs to spontaneous. I’m not a fucking jester, I can’t entertain you on cue. So that idea pretty much died as soon as it began. I feel bad for my friends though. These women proof-read my first post and everything. That’s how you know your homies are ride-or-die. It’s easy to do dumb shit with your friends, but when you gotta use your brain and correct people’s grammar…SHIIIIIIT!!! I’m keeping them around.
And to be honest, I don’t want to sit around and think of advice to give people. All I got is “wrap it up” and “vaccinate your fucking kids.” Those would have been the first and final posts. So I decided to write a blog about the only consistent thing I know how to do well. And for me that’s being awkward. Now, this ain’t the “collects rocks”, “has no friends”, and “wears orthopedic shoes” kinda awkward. If that was the case, nobody would stop expecting me to be so awkward. The problem is that I have social skills and am usually pretty outgoing once you get to know. But for some fucking reason, put me in a room and I’m like a Dementor, except I suck all the awkwardness (if you didn’t get that HP reference then I’m really not sure how you go on about your day).
I stand weirdly next to poles, I give awkward handshakes, you name it. So I figured I’d embrace that shit and share my awkward journey through the streets of L.A with the 2 people who will eventually read this blog. I’m gonna be like the 1239747867642856276 people doing the same damn thing and find another excuse to spend more time on the Internet. But whatever, fuck it! I may not be special in that regards, but who gives a crap. My mommy told me I was special and you know what ladies and gents, I believe her. Stay tuned!